


Safe

by coffeehousehaunt



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: Angst, Character study: Tamsin, F/F, F/M, Valkyrie stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 19:19:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2479544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeehousehaunt/pseuds/coffeehousehaunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"You don't have to be scared; I've got you."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe

Tamsin is scared. This man— _"We were_ best friends _”, he said_ —is telling her things that hurt, words that cut, that make her want to go home.

But according to him, she can’t. And those things he’s saying make an awful lot of sense—of the nightmares she has, the flashbacks, the times she speaks in languages that Kenzi doesn’t understand or even recognize. Explains that awful ache in her stomach when she looks at Bo and Bo looks at her blankly, or not at all.

He runs his fingers through her hair, and tells her that she’s perfect, that she’s _bad_ , and her stomach roils. This is what she is, he says. _Oh, it’s in your_ blood.

But it's more than him talking; it’s the knife at her throat, this place that reeks faintly of blood and rust and rot. _"People like us, we die alone.”_ He tells her this is their place, and she thinks she might drown in the dark of it. 

People like them. Like her. Tamsin understands; whatever she is, wherever she goes, there will be men like him. Women. If she gets out, this will happen, over and over again. Because of what she is. Because of a choice she made, a long time ago: _"It’s in your blood."_

Maybe this is what she deserves after all.

She still struggles. Would her old self have ever ended up here? She doesn’t think so. But she doesn’t know, and that’s not enough.

But then Bo is there, and Bo is _strong_. But not strong enough: Massimo catches Bo off-guard. She understands this, deep down: that’s all it takes to overpower someone. But it’s still a shock, a spark—who could beat _Bo_? Panic and rage rush through her.

Bo and Massimo both stop, wide-eyed, at the sight of her. And Massimo—Massimo _will_ take his hands off of Bo. Will take his hands off _her_. Will never put his hands on anyone ever again.

Because she knows what she is.

Bo stops her, but Tamsin is already tired of lies. Is already tired of wishing for someone to love her without wanting something from her, without trying to take something from her. Without being a target, an instrument, the means to someone else’s end. For someone to see how scared she is.

When Bo touches her, it’s the safest Tamsin has ever felt.

Bo makes her put in her earbuds and wait in the elevator. That’s when Tamsin knows: no matter what came before, something is different this time.

***  
 _"Just, y’know, use your powers. Cast out on her or whatever."_

Except there’s no “just” about it. That wind in Tamsin’s ears vanishes at the final _crack_ of the other dancer’s neck. Tamsin watches her twitch.

The entire crowd falls silent. Then, there’s a slow, stunned applause, until the entire room is roaring in her ears. Tamsin can barely tear her gaze off that twitching body in front of her to look around at all the people who saw her, wanting nothing more than to just disappear—and then she makes the mistake of looking up.

The Morrigan looks her up and down, lifts one eyebrow and looks _hungry_ , and Tamsin wants to _vaporize_. And then Kenzi is grabbing her arm and Tamsin turns away as fast as she can, trying so hard to ignore the way the crowd parts for her now. But she can’t leave fast enough or go far enough to get away from those two images: the way the dancer landed—she didn’t even know her _name_ , Tamsin realizes—and the Morrigan’s look. Something about it reminds her of Massimo.

_"You’re perfect."_

When they get home, Bruce tells her she didn’t need to reveal herself on his behalf. His stricken look at Kenzi when she replies, “What d’you mean?” opens a sick pit in her stomach.

That feeling from Massimo’s warehouse returns: Everyone saw her today. The Morrigan’s words: _"We’ll be watching_ you _very closely.”_

She’s tried so hard not to remember. After her nightmares, when she looks in the mirror, for a fraction of a second she sees blood dripping down the edges, bullets flying, starbursts of gunfire, faces torn off and bones splintered through skin and entrails spilling out. She would so much rather not remember; be able to brush her hair without wondering what about it would make a druid risk pissing off Bo just to get a lock of it. She’d like to be able to dance without killing someone. She would.  


She sees what they intend for her, now: that broken body, someone she didn’t know and never would have bothered if they hadn’t forced her hand. Even Kenzi. Even Momz.

She doesn’t think Momz meant for her to kill that Dark Fae. But the Morrigan would. The Dark would. The Una Mens would.

Somehow, she needs to remember before they get to her.

***

_"I’m scared. Really, really scared."_

The words come out of Bo’s mouth, and part of Tamsin thinks she should be scared, too. This is _Bo_. Bo who kept her safe from Massimo. Bo who wasn’t supposed to exist. Bo, her target, her prey, marked for a fate worse than death; Bo who might just defy it. Compared to her, Tamsin is nothing.

But Tamsin isn’t scared.

Because in spite of everything Tamsin has done, Bo fought her way back to Tamsin and called her her _friend_. This can’t be real; Tamsin doesn’t deserve this. Shouldn’t get to put her arm around Bo and tell her it’s alright.

But it will be. Because Bo’s forgiven her, and Tamsin can see her through anything. Because Tamsin _isn’t_ nothing; she knows that now. Tamsin has seen so many through so much, and she is stronger now that she ever was. She can feel it in her veins:

Bo is safe with her. 

***

She’s not sure if she’ll ever forgive Bo for this.

No, Bo didn’t intend for this to happen. There are all kinds of things that happen in battle that you don’t intend. But everyone here knows why this happened.

And now Tamsin is the one who has to pick up the pieces.

If Kenzi hadn’t given Massimo the Twig of Zamorra. If Tamsin hadn’t marked Bo for those damned crows and left Kenzi alone. If they’d all listened to Bo instead of fighting over her like teenage girls over a crush. If they hadn’t listened to her when she told them to back off. If Bo hadn’t been so fucking self-absorbed. If Bo hadn’t cut them all off for Rainer’s sake. If Tamsin hadn’t been fucking Dyson while Massimo was gutting Hale. If they’d just fucking _killed_ Massimo while they had the chance. If, if, if.

Valkyries don’t show up for ifs. They show up for that awful, blood-wrecked silence.

Not even Dyson moves to help her while her eyes clear and she stands back.

The wind rings hollow in her ears. She shrugs against the tension in her shoulders, and the bones there crack. It happens without her wanting it to. It’s what she is. They all stare at her stupidly, like this is something beautiful. That voice rings in her ears, and now that she’s listening for it, she realizes it never stopped: _"Vulture."_

They brought this on themselves. And they brought this on her.

She is the harbinger of death; the nightmare through the flames. And she holds Kenzi close and watches over her until they’ve crossed over. She is a Valkyrie; the weapon of the gods.

And they are safe with her.


End file.
